Massachusetts ClimateMaster Tranquility installation discrepancies

I have a TTV049AGC00JLKS, s/n L13782042, installed over a decade ago. I have never been happy with the plumbing configuration, but two different installers have said the setup is acceptable. Here are the details:

The Manual recommends two valves and flow regulators because the unit is a two stage unit. I have a single 13 gpm balancing valve/flow restrictor. Seems that I'm pumping an awful lot of water when the heat is in the first stage. I'd love to set it up properly, but I cannot find anybody near me to do the work. I'd do it myself if I knew what size restrictors I should use. (I'm in southeast Massachusetts). I've gone through three pumps and a couple of pressure switches. (pressure regulator set to 40psi before GSHP)

The second issue has to do with dumping water when it has gotten too cold (winter) or too hot (summer). There is a ball valve that is partially closed just before returning to the well that creates back pressure. Then an ETC temperature control that opens a TACO valve and allows dumping through a flowmeter. The ball valve is adjusted to get a certain flow. This setup is noisy and the flow rate changes wildly. I'd like to know if there isn't a better setup. Also, it seems the temperatures that the controller is set at are pretty narrow, like 51 degrees and 58 degrees.

I'd be happy to give more details but I don't want to make this post unweildly.
Thanks,
Joe Heck